Six Weeks

It seems I'm a bit over six weeks along in the journey and I am feeling fine! The neurologist thought the baby would make my migraines "worse or better" (my brother pointed out how ridiculous it is that we pay people big bucks to tell us such simple things). I think my headaches are gone. I have so much energy and have enjoyed (almost) daily hikes along the North Shore trail. Six weeks means the nose, mouth, and ears are starting to form. The tiny heart is beating away and he/she is the size of a lentil, which is soooooo much cooler than the poppy seed she was last week. The rest of her brains, bones, and muscles are forming and the very thought of that makes me cry. My books and website report that I may be feeling a sort of "split personality" or "ricocheting emotions" due to the fluctuating hormones. I deny that this is true...unless of course you count the fact that I went from singing in the shower to hiking for three hours alone and in tears over whether Black Beards blend coffee has 200 or 400 mg of caffeine in 8 oz and whether or not I would be a selfless enough parent because after all I am struggling to give up coffee. Detox is killer. Thank God for my husband.

We got our first baby package from Diane, Todd's Mom who will be "Gramma Diane" some day! The package was so thoughtful: chocolate, girl scout cookies, organic 'Mama candy' to ward off nausea, material for our never ending creative projects, and baby onesies! First time holding baby clothes and coming close to imagining that it will be my baby wearing them. Crazy! Todd and I sat there in shock for full minutes just staring at these cute little things before we broke out into giggles. Gpa Lloyd has been tie dying things back home and Diane tells me he'll soon be tie dying baby clothes! Thank God we have been given 8 + months for this to all sink in. Thank you, Diane, for such a thoughtful package. Last week my Mom sent a card with a beautiful picture of her 7 months pregnant with me. Hard to believe she was pregnant with her 5th baby at the age that we're just starting our family. Speaking of nice things people have given/sent to us upon hearing the news. My sister n' law, Kelli, made the most spectacular card, which I will post as soon as I can figure out how. Those of you who know her are aware that one of her love languages is in card making. My sister, Sarah, sent an informative calendar with facts about each stage of the pregnancy, which you can organize according to your due date. Also, our neighbor friends brought us baby/parenting magazines from Missoula along with Cardamom (my absolute favorite) and Mexican Chocolate ice cream all the way from the Big Dipper ice cream shop in Missoula. "The ice cream is for the baby! Not you two!" Mo, a nurse from work, brought a bunch of cupcakes to Todd's school to congratulate us. We are overwhelmed by all the gifts, the blessings, and the kind words/advice people have shared. Thanks, all, we are so grateful! Made it half way through the baby name book and realized that of the 23 girl names on our list only 2 end in something other than the letter a. Weird. I wonder what this says about us. I am eager to know the name of this person I'm sacrificing coffee for, but realize this could take many months. We happen to love the naming of things, animals...and now a person. It's all so exciting!

Our parents...

Pregnancy update: We thought I had two whole days of morning sickness, but unless morning sickness is now contagious we're thinking I actually had some sort of delightful little GI virus. Todd promptly got it and now we are close to being back to normal. Our first ultrasound is April 6th!

Tonight we drove to Freeze Out Lake and were completely mesmerized by the annual Snow Goose migration which takes place the last two weeks of March. Thousands and thousands of geese from California and elsewhere stopping to eat barley and fatten up before continuing on to Canada, and eventually the Arctic. My breath was taken away two different times when they all flew off at once against a perfect (just before sunset) sky with sounds of wings and ?honking?. We were there this time last year with our friend Joe from IN, who is both passionate and knowledgeable about birds. We went to eat in Choteau and talked about this new life and how ours will change.

We've had a lot of great talks over the years we've been together about what sort of parents we'd like to be...what sorts of things we've noticed in other people...parenting we admire.

We've had unbelievable examples of good parenting, but know our style will be uniquely us. Some things I love....

I love that my earliest memories are full of raising, growing, making things. That my dad turned our land into a sort of petting zoo: Chickens and their baby chicks, ducks, catfish, sheep, a horse, dogs, cats, and an occasional cow who would make a brief appearance before ending up in our freezer. I love that I know the precise smell of pups just born in the early morning, of straw and old barn-wood, of a newborn lamb which we fed with a bottle in our very own basement! My senses are heightened when I think of my childhood. We were wild...exploring the land and the barns, and the silo, getting so dirty, dressing kittens in baby doll clothes, and never ever coming inside. I love that I remember carrying wood for our wood burning stove and I love that my Mom made our clothes and then taught us to do the same. I love that I modeled clothing I made in 4H, even if it was the dorkiest outfit I have ever seen in my life. I love that my Mom took piano lessons with us (even if none of us ever really caught on) and that I cannot recall a single time she's looked at me without mentioning how "naturally beautiful" I am. I am in love with growing our own food like my parents did and still remember exactly where I would sit on the porch swing when I would snap green beans and shuck corn. I loved the smells of it all and the way it felt in my hands. I love that we would pile all of our blankets into the bath-tub or on the balcony or on the stairs or in the closet because we just felt like sleeping in places other than our beds...just for kicks. I hate that my Dad put me in a pageant, but I love that he was still proud of me when all I got was "Miss Congeniality." I probably complained about getting up in the wee hours of the morning to feed the baby chicks and dogs before school and I'm sure I complained when I had to snap beans, but I think so much of my Mom and Dad for ignoring my complaints and seeing the bigger picture. And yes, I'm aware of how very 'Little House on the Prairie' our lives really sound. I was teased about that very thing in elementary school, but even then I think deep down I knew it was a cool way to live :)

I love that there are barely any pictures of Todd or his siblings without the family dog. I love that he played outside in the creek and park behind their house for whole days at a time. I adore the fact that he created these fabulous little people out of light bulbs and an assortment of objects around the house using a hot glue gun. More than this, I love that his parents encouraged him so much creatively and that to this day their home is decorated with kid art! I think it's both brave and amazing that as they got older his Mom designated one night a week that one of the kids would cook for the family. I love that his Mom needs the tiniest reason to throw a party for someone...she celebrates everything!! I love that as soon as Todd started showing interest in guitar they went to get him one. I love that Todd and his Mom used to go to lunch together every week when he was in college. I have his Dad to thank for the fact that Todd makes errands fun for me. He often reminisces on trips with his Dad to Big Lots and to yard sales on Saturday mornings and says his Dad would make it such a blast. I love that his Dad tells his sister how pretty she is and that he hugs her all the time and came to her classroom as a special guest artist. I love that he has continued to pursue art and is such an inspiration to Todd, creatively. I love love love that his parents have raised them so close to their extended family and to know and respect and spend time with their Grandparents. I love that they spend one week out of every year with each other in Michigan.

I love that both of our families hug a lot.

All that said, I think we have a strong foundation and am elated at the thought of introducing this other little life to such neat people. Here's to our parents!

thursday

It still does not seem real that we are having a child. I wonder when it really will sink in? Probably a gradual realization up to the moment we bring the little creature home? so wonderful, so beautiful. Feeling all sorts of things. Grateful. Overwhelmed. Peace. Hope that Heather will feel better soon. The last couple nights have been rough.

Puppy

I have a pet turtle named Puppy. We named her puppy because we desperately want a dog, but the time is not right, yet. Puppy currently lives in my classroom, where she does her best to distract 4th graders from standardized tests and boring instruction... I'll try and post more later, but I think that my beautiful wife summed up today, and I must get to bed.

Perfect Sunday

This is the place where Todd and I are going to try to keep our family and friends updated on our lives. It may get boring sometimes, but we'll stay faithful. Just you wait and see.

This morning we borrowed our friend's lovely dog, Lily, to join us on a perfect Sunday walk. The North Shore Trail runs along the lovely Missouri River and is quickly becoming one of our favorite trails. Lily talked Todd into taking his first Spring dip into the Missouri. They both fetched sticks all afternoon. It was cold. Both Todd and Lily shook their wet fur all over me until I too was covered in river water. We then snuck Lily into our "no pets allowed" apartment building and just hung out with her, pretending she was our dog. I made hummus and Todd made tabouleh and we took it to Kelly & Thom's for a delicious Mediterranean dinner. Kelly made falafel and pita, tzatziki, and honey cake. We returned their dog and enjoyed playing 'toss the elephant' with their adorable little toddler, Meredith. Todd's favorite trick is to stick Meredith's beloved stuffed elephant into Lily's collar to make her mad. Had good talks with Kelly and Thom and are grateful to have made good friends to share meals with here in Great Falls.