back to work

Evelyn and I spent one of our last days together today, as I wrap up my maternity leave and head back to work at the hospital this Mon. It's a real shame I've not written on this here blog...there are so many details I would have loved to share. I had high hopes and every intention of telling it all, of painting a picture of the life of our tiny Evelyn. We've managed to take lots of photos and of this I'm proud, but I suppose I thought I'd have more time for getting it all down.

I've found myself writing it all out in my head throughout the day. Writing to family, to friends, to anyone who might stumble upon our little blog. There's been so much to tell and I was so excited to tell it all. I suppose I don't regret a single moment spent with the computer and phone off...Evelyn in my arms. We both feel pretty strongly about not living our real lives for our digital lives (our friend Amit articulates this idea much better). I have written some special things from time to time - milestones I never want to forget, sweet little things I've witnessed, epiphanies regarding parenting, marriage, and all things baby. I have found I'm just not gifted in the art of quick one-handed typing, though.

A rushed and sappy summary: this time has been beautiful, full of so many smiles (both hers and ours), long sunny walks along the Missouri, visits with friends, reading, dancing, baths, introducing her to toys and music, snuggling, rocking, telling her stories of all the people and places I am eager for her to know. I have hardly put her down and do not really care if this is bad parenting. We've really had a lovely time getting to know each other. She has my heart, that's for certain. For me, there has never in the history of the world been a prettier face, a sweeter voice. She loves baths and especially enjoys swimming around, kicking off with her legs in the big bath with her mama. Her little eyes seem to be especially sensitive to the sun, but she otherwise loves loves loves her walks outdoors in the sling. She sleeps best in our arms, but has somehow managed to be quite the night time sleeper as long as she is in the swing beside our bed. Evelyn loves dancing to the Decemberists and falling asleep to African lullaby and recorded sounds of ocean waves. She has just started teething and bathes me in drool. She has a smile that'd make the sun jealous (I think BB King said this) and she seems to be eager to talk, with so much cooing and exclaiming. She hates for things to be placed over her head and scolds us for dressing her. She loves to eat and has been a great eater from the start. She continues to stare in awe of the wall tapestry I brought home from Kenya...it calms her and the contrast seems to distract her from all of lifes woes (ie. wearing clothes). She now has a strong grasp of her toys and actually seems to enjoy them, her current favorites being the little green frog which was cousin Nora's and this whacky toy from Atticus. Evelyn loves looking in the mirror and smiling at herself. She has this perfect, kind little expression I noticed today. This look of eagerness to know all about the people around her. I had to stop her from eavesdropping this morning at the coffee shop. Her big blue eyes were popping out and staring while these two women were chatting. Seems like she cannot wait to hear the stories of all these people. Clearly I am projecting, but oh well :) She has perfect round toes (like Todd) and a very interesting double jointed set of thumbs (also like Todd). She wakes up happy and has turned me back into the morning person I used to be. She seems to really enjoy the contrast of our many quilts and is warming up to tummy time.

There is so much to tell. It was tough for me today. Going back to work feels right (though there were certainly times during my leave when I considered not). I love my job and have worked hard to grow into the nurse that I am. I miss my co-workers and look forward to adult discussion (though I gather I'll be a little rusty at it for a while). All this and still I wept today. I ache at the thought of being away from Evelyn and hope I'm doing the right thing. Fortunately I work nights and will seldom be away for her waking hours, right? Todd will be here and who could be better, right? I imagine this will just be hard for a while...being away from the lovely Evelyn Naya.

Time to join Todd & Evelyn who are now fast asleep. I'll try to be better at blogging, though this is not bloody likely since I'll be heading back to work! Ha!